On "dog friendly" or "why we don't go to the dog park"
It’s often the first or second question asked about a dog. “Is he dog friendly?” “Does she like dogs?” I am of course guilty of it too. And it is an easy first step to finding out if a dog may be appropriate for your home to foster or adopt. But the real truth of the matter is that dogs, like people, are seldom all this or all that. The truth is that behavior exists on a spectrum. Here’s my opinion on that spectrum and how to treat dogs on the continuum.
Reminder: I am not a professional dog handler. This comes from my own personal research and mostly my lived experiences. If you need professional help, seek it.
I don’t like to use the term “dog friendly” when thinking in depth about dog behavior. I prefer the term “dog social.” I think most dogs fall on this “dog social” spectrum where with proper introductions most dogs can coexist with others. Here’s how I would roughly break down the spectrum, though of course no dog can, should, or will fit into one neat little box or label. That’s the beauty of dogs being sentient beings, each with their own unique personality, isn’t it?
All the way to the left: the “No Thank Yous”
Some dogs hate other dogs, and that’s fine. These dogs may have had bad interactions in the past, or may just grow up to dislike other dogs. They don’t want to share space or their people, or other dogs just really stress them out. These include the “dog aggressive” dogs, and are often marketed for “only dog homes.” They may be leash reactive and/or barrier reactive, or they may just prefer not to be around dogs. They are of course much harder to adopt or foster out, and are the most likely to be euthanized in the shelter.
There are some dogs who will be labeled this way in the shelter, but decompress in a foster or adoptive home and turn out to be ok with certain other dogs after a decompression period and slow introductions. Some of these dogs don’t want to live with other dogs (or specifically female dogs, etc.) but can be fostered in the same home with other dogs in a “crate and rotate” scenario. Some dogs will never be ok with other dogs, and in my opinion it’s important that adopters understand this, and while they can and should work to manage reactivity, a dog that doesn’t want to share space being forced to do so is not right for the dog.
A good example of this was Peeps, our recent senior foster. She was ok to coexist with my dogs for a week, but truly did not enjoy their presence, and it actually stressed her out quite a bit. She went to an only dog home and is much happier and less stressed being the queen of her castle.
Only dogs make some of the best pets because they love their people so much! There’s no reason a dog can’t live a perfectly happy life as an only. If you don’t live in a small hallwayed elevator building, it shouldn’t really cause too many problems, and it shouldn’t interfere with your dog being your best friend and a wonderful companion.
In the middle: “The On My Terms”
Most dogs are in the middle “social” area, with certain quirks, likes and dislikes, and personalities just like people. They won’t all get along with all other dogs, just like all people won’t get along. That’s fine and your dog doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be expected to be friends with everyone. The goal for these dogs in foster care is “congenial roommates/coworkers” until adoption. See our foster introductions blog post for more information on how to slowly introduce a foster or newly adopted dog to your dog.
Included in this category are the “dog social butterfly dogs” or “unicorn dogs” who love every new dog and are the exact right amount of chill. These are rare but they exist. These are the dogs we see in the dog parks day after day, in daycares, off leash in the park in the morning. At least, most of them are. Some dogs are there when they actually shouldn’t be, which can be bad news for your social butterfly.
All the way to the right: “The Too Friendlys”
Finally, there are the “dog hypersocial” dogs. These dogs want to play play play and often do not understand social boundaries. They may not be aggressive themselves but may trigger defensive aggression in another dog if not kept within boundaries by a human.
Most puppies fall on this end of the spectrum, but a bad interaction in their youth could move them over to the other end and become a “no thank you”. As they grow and mature, most dogs will naturally fall closer to the middle, and be social, tolerant, or avoidant.
On dog parks:
I have heard countless horror stories from dog parks, and I do not ever go. I don’t think that throwing 18 dogs into a small fenced in area potentially full of toys, treats, and precious humans is a good idea. People don’t pay attention to their dogs, and fights happen. Your hypersocial puppy could trigger a social dog with their bad manners. Your social dog could be having a bad day or have an unnoticed injury, and be triggered by an annoying hypersocial dog, even though they’ve “never done anything like that.” You may encounter dogs with guarding issues around a ball, or who don’t like their owners’ being touched by another dog. This is especially true when you have the pit bull, because you know who is taking the blame should anything go wrong. My dogs’ safety is my number 1 priority, even over their having a potentially fun time at the park. Instead we plan one on one or small group playdates with dogs we know and owners we trust.
If you do go to dog parks, that’s your decision of course, and I’m glad it works for you. I’m simply explaining why we avoid them. Plus, they’re almost always disgusting.
Where do Pig and Seal fall on the spectrum?
I consider both my dogs to be dog social, but with quirks. Penny is pretty social (some would probably consider her a unicorn based on how many fosters we’ve had!) with proper handling. She likes to play with certain dogs but mostly she wants to live and let live if they’re not playing. She needs slow introductions to dogs her size or larger, and finds it harder to trust those dogs. She is willing to forgive hypersocial puppies, but is not willing to overlook the same behavior in older or larger dogs. She does not like to be stared at, and she is not leash reactive but can be “leash aggressive” where she will snap at a dog if she meets that dog face to face, so we do not do on-leash greetings (yes she’s friendly and no your dog can’t say hi. If someone doesn’t take the hint, I say she’s sick and contagious). She also does not like to be bothered or touched while she’s sleeping. With proper introductions, she’s been able to have tons of foster siblings.
Loosey is somewhere between social, unicorn, and hypersocial. She is actually TOO friendly and it can be overwhelming to new dogs at first. Her friendliness particularly manifests as leash reactivity (which looks a lot like leash aggression, so no one ever bothers asking if their dog can say hi to Loo!) so parallel walks with her go much better if she’s had a day to smell and see the other dog inside first. She often needs a few days to calm down before being free with a dog because she will get too excited and try to play too rough, which can be scary. You’ve all seen her try to love small fosters. While it can be super adorable, it’s actually not enjoyable for the other dog most of the time. Once the other dog trusts her, or if the dog has a similarly rough and tumble playstyle, she is a great playmate, as long as she doesn’t smack too hard. Or cannon ball into their bodies. Or sit on their heads.
